Part 67: Update Sixty Three: Meet The Nu Master, Same As The Old Fuck You This Reference Is Too Cool For The Lost Sanctum

Update Sixty Three: Meet The Nu Master, Same As The Old Fuck You This Reference Is Too Cool For The Lost Sanctum

Howdy, folks, and welcome back! Last time, on Chrono Trigger, we gathered a couple of Prismastones and created a very special rock. Today, we're going to climb a mountain and kick someone's ass, so let's bounce.



I decided to drag Robo and Janus along; Robo has a new punchin' arm and I just like having Janus along. Robo has the Prism Specs, by the by.



Of course you do.



Oh, yeah, by the way, we're in the 600 AD Sanctum. We'll be here for most of the update.



If you're so worried about him needing company, why don't you go and bring him a picnic lunch?



Yes, fine.





So the 600 AD Sanctum doesn't have a jungle, but a regular ol' forest.



As well as these douchebags.



They're easy enough to kill, but they run around that bush and there's no way to dodge the encounter. Whenever you come past here, you have to fight them.



It's a ten second obstacle in a place full of overly long walks and other assorted bullshit.





Were I still trying to abuse the Arena for massive profit, this cash could come in handy.





But, here's the path to reach Mount Emerald.





I want you to remember, he's had sixty-five million years to train to fight us.



Oh, you didn't think we'd be doing it here, did you? No, no, that's not enough convoluted bullshit for this bonus content.





Alright, let's get this over with.







Why, yes, that is a broken ladder.



As the Obviouslord has pointed out, we can't use this. Never mind Robo has extendo arms and can probably pull himself to the top and pull everyone else up. That'd be too easy.



So there's a guy with a ladder fetish around here; let's go see what he has to say about this.





Alright, we've gotta go find some vines in a regular forest. We're not going to the jungle to find these things. We're sticking in 600 AD.



So I guess we can explore a little bit around here.





And by that, I mean I had to wander around here to find the vines.



Which gave me an opportunity to show off the one tech of Janus' we haven't seen.



It works like X-Zone in Final Fantasy VI in that it targets all enemies and has a chance to instantly remove one of them from the fight. I don't think the success rate is very high, but it's a neat idea, if nothing else. It's also the only Tech that, when successful, simply instantly kills the enemy.





Doesn't that look like something important? It does, doesn't it?



Well, it ain't shit, so we're going in a cave.



It's the same as the last time, and doesn't have the vines, but it does have something we'll need later on.



It'll save one step of annoyance, which is good. Though, on the bright side, once we finish this update, we'll be roughly halfway through the Lost Sanctum content.



Just north of the bush where the Dire Rats hang out is where the vines we need are.





Alright, let's go and fix---



...I hate you, Robo.



So, yeah. As per the futuristic robot with memory banks containing tons and tons of science, history, geography and all sorts of other knowledge, we have to travel back 65,000,000 years, take some vines, and build a new goddamned ladder with them, because that'll surely last, just like the other ladder did.



I honestly wish I was making this shit up and playing a massive joke on everyone reading the thread.



Look, even Janus is getting out of here after that bullshit!



Game, it doesn't make it any better when you point out your fantastic bullshit.



Do you hear me, whoever wrote this? Whoever told you that was amusing and charming and you should do it more often is not looking out for your best interests.



And now, through the magic of editing



We're back in 600 AD.





I'm writing this update, and this bullshit has reminded me I need to take my blood pressure pill.







Still that save point hanging around.







Well, we're about to find a piece of equipment we didn't before. Not that it's unique to here or anything.



Sounds like it should be a kickass piece of equipment made from the Rainbow Shell, but it isn't. It halves Lightning damage and...That's about it. Not a bad helmet, really, but just not as good as what we currently have.





Status ailment immunity is where it's at.





This halves Water damage, but suffers from the same issue the Rainbow Helmet does.





Uh-huh.



He's up to 8800 HP for this fight, but his defenses are lower; he's lost his elemental counters, but gained a couple of other annoyances.





One thing he's gained is that he's not afraid to go ahead and body slam a fool for being up in his grill.





He also absorbs Shadow now. I don't know why.



And after you attack him with anything, he has a drain counter.



Which is a pain in the ass, not because it heals him, but because of the damage it does to our guys.



Magic is still a better way to go about fighting this guy.



He has some other new tricks, too.





Including fuck-off bolts of lightning. He also has the same standard Nu attack of reducing your HP to 1 with a headbutt.









He also has an instant death attack.



It missed Chrono, but it's good to know. There aren't too many instant death attacks in the game.





Honestly, if not for his stupid-high defenses, this fight wouldn't have been much more than a bump in the road.



Robo, you can field this one.



Jesus, you teach a robot emotions and camaraderie one time and then they never shut up about them.



Is this an appropriate picture for goons.png? It seems like it.



I can't even think of a good line here.



Eh, I guess I'd accept you in my party. Gaspar would like the company.



If joy is a prerequisite for anything involving this asshole, then he's immediately out.



That's it, Robo. You're off the team.



Oh, you can't help me with what I really want.





Notice he's snoozing in front of a bridge. If you listen carefully, you can nearly hear my blood pressure rising.





This is where I found that Prismastone. Doesn't it look like something else could go there?



Mount Emerald is the bane of all those who have played this content.



I can't wait until we get to the Dimensional Vortexes.





Yeah. The last guy we helped gives us a badass new weapon for Robo, while this chucklefuck gives us a piece of armor that is easily outclassed through doing one of the simplest sidequests.





Whatever, we're done for now. Next time, we'll assist in a construction project.

Stay tuned!